Anshula Kapoor, the daughter of producer Boney Kapoor and the late Mona Shourie Kapoor, talked openly about how her parents’ divorce affected her terribly in a very intimate interview with The Quint. Anshula said that for years she blamed herself for the end of their marriage, which was an emotional burden she has only recently started to deal with.
The Weight of a Child
“Underconfidence seeped into my being, perhaps at the age of five or six, once my parents separated,” Anshula said. “I thought for a long time that my parents’ relationship didn’t work out because of me, that I was the reason it didn’t work out.” That’s a lot for a six-year-old to carry. She says that her mother, Mona, helped her understand that partnerships are between two people and that she had nothing to do with their breakup.
Anshula said that her mother, who died, was a “literal spinal cord” who provided her the strength she needed. “I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t have any self-esteem. None of those things. She remarked, “If I hadn’t had her, I would have just had a devil on my shoulder and my own brain, always pulling me down.” Mona Kapoor needed continual positive reinforcement to fight her own self-doubt. It gave her the mental health support she needed to live a “normal life” and not be a “emotional wreck.”
Being strong and alone
Anshula also thought about how her parents’ divorce made her a subject of public attention, which added to her stress. She remembered how family friends would give her “side-eyes and judgy looks,” how people would stop talking when she walked into a room, and how people would generally judge her. “It makes you strong. It toughens you up a bit. “But it also makes you a lot more alone,” she said.
Anshula has always thought of resilience and being alone as two sides of the same coin. She thinks that if you have to become self-sufficient, you can start to think that you have to do everything by yourself. “You stop wanting to depend on other people. “You stop counting on anyone to be there for you because that’s not what you’ve been through,” she added. In her 30s, she is now trying to unlearn this way of thinking.
A Daughter Who Is a Superwoman
Anshula said that her mother, who is a single mom, was her main role model. She thought Mona Kapoor was a “superwoman” who could do everything by herself. This picture was motivating, yet it was hard to live up to. Anshula stated, “For a long time in my 20s, I kept thinking, ‘Mom could do everything on her own, so I should be able to do everything on my own too.'”
Her brother, actor Arjun Kapoor, was the one who pointed out the difference. “She didn’t have a choice.” He told her that she had to do it. “You, on the other hand, have the option to take a break.” Anshula has come to terms with the fact that it’s good to ask for help and not have to do everything by herself.
In 1983, Boney Kapoor married Mona Shourie. They had two kids, Arjun and Anshula, but they broke up in 1996. Boney Kapoor later married the late actress Sridevi. They had two daughters, Janhvi and Khushi Kapoor.